On next Saturday, it will have been six months since I became a mother.
Where on earth has the time gone. I can still vividly remember everything.
That means it has been six months since the birth I studied hard for didn’t go as planned.
Six months since my husband and I became responsible for a new life.
It’s been SIX whole months since the day I laid eyes on my chub.
I can still vividly remember being told that my son would have one non functioning kidney and one hardly functioning kidney.
A diagnosis referred to as severe Hydronephrosis.
I can still remember the frustration I felt being told I could not labor the way I would like.
I can still feel the frustration while forced to remain in bed when my birth plan reflected a desire to do otherwise.
I remember the last most painful contractions before he made his debut, and I was cut to expedite the process-Without Permission.
My heart broke as my request for instant skin to skin was denied.
My eyes couldn’t help but water as I watched them take him away.. To his own nicu room when I requested rooming in.
I can feel each time I painfully rolled my wheelchair down several long hallways. I had to see him, despite exhaustion from dangerous levels of blood loss.
I can still see him connected to all those machines and under constant surveillance. I couldn’t imagine life with a tube-free wireless baby.
I remember waking up early and staying up late. Needing to be with him every minute possible. Seeing if he could finally keep his milk down.
I can still feel the joy as I got my first drops of milk after days on pumping around the clock. Finally, he could have milk from his own mom.
I remember the host of early breastfeeding and post birth complications. We had out fair share of obstacles and at times it was so difficult, I just wanted to quit.
I fought through because of him.
I remember when he was confined to the table. There was check after check to be sure he was able to eat and his kidneys functioned properly. He did not stop fighting.
I remember the day we heard “He might be able to go home tomorrow”. I still tear up at the excitement of “The ultrasounds were wrong, his kidneys work.”
Salem, you are ONLY six months and have overcome so much. You continue to amaze me each day.
Whenever I am stressed by the challenges of motherhood, I sit back and remember how it felt when I could only hold you with a host of wires.
I am so grateful for my wireless baby.
I would do it all again. ❤
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