12 Ridiculous EXCUSES not to follow your Dreams.




12) Someone else did
it first-  Fear of replication
In the year 2016, the
chance of coming up with a completely original concept is slim to none. In
many circumstances, replication brings forth improvement. Imagine with me for a
moment, what you would be using to surf the web if we ended with the prototype
of the modern-day computer which weighed in at a massive 50 tons and 1,800 sq
ft. *insert squished face here* What if once J. Presper Eckert and John Mauchly came
up with this technological advancement, its concept became “off limits” to all
other minds?  How would we have made it
to hand-held, touch screen, multi-functional device that today many cannot live
without today?
11) Everybody is
doing it – Fear of not standing out
As of the most recent  census, there are roughly 7.125 BILLION people
in the world. Being that science has revealed each human to have 99.9% same DNA-
I hate to break it to you but blending in is quite likely. That .1 % of
variation accounts for all differences in phenotype. This information is not to
completely eradicate the concept of individuality; it is instead to liberate
you from the weight of hiding from “sameness”. Instead of seeing yourself as
invisible, reframe your thinking and see yourself as a part of a bigger
10) You’re not a
(insert adjective here) kinda person – Fear of challenge
Recently, I was
watching a video from Oprah’s Master Class featuring Maya Angelou. Throughout
the video, Maya shared some of her greatest life lessons, and like always she
delivered. Out of all the wisdom given in that three minute clip, the quote that
spoke most to me was her reference to former slave and playwright Terence- “Homo Sum Humani Nihil A Me Alienum Puto”.
Through the years, there have been various translations of this Latin phrase, I
found inspiration if the following: “I am human, nothing human can be alien to
me.”  The lowest of lows can be
experienced by any and all of us, yet so can the greatest of successes. You are
adaptable, you are resilient and you are capable of your wildest dreams. Do not
limit yourself to the cards you are given when you are capable of learning the world.
9) You’ve never stuck
to anything before – Fear of commitment
When my boyfriend now
husband got down on one knee and proposed to me, I was terrified. I felt the
same when we made the spur of the moment decision to run to the courthouse
before work. So terrified that on the first night of our honeymoon I broke down
in tear as we prepared to *eh hmm* make things official. He asked what was
wrong and I told him, I have a fear of commitment. As an ENFP on the Myer-Briggs
Type Indicator, we are known for our free-spirited nature and impulsive mind
switching. I could not imagine a world where I committed to ANYTHING, and then
I remembered I just received my 4 year degree. With support of my new husband I
got passed it and realized commitment was not a bad thing. I tried to use my
fear of commitment to get out of something a couple of weeks ago and before I
could get the words out I stopped. Since that initial leap, I have been married
2 years, had a dog for 3 years and joined the lifelong club of motherhood. If
you truly want it, you can stick to it.
8) No one is doing it
– Fear of isolation
I find it humorous as
a species that we are often caught between the fear of standing out and the
fear of overly blending in. When discussing fear of isolation, high school
comes to mind. I am well aware that many fear standing out, even in old age, but
we have all seen or lived the movies
that depict the high school experience. All of the most memorable teen classics
revolve around 2 themes: Sex or increasing social position. If we were to reduce
these concepts to their most fundamental level, we could go as far as to say
that they all come down to Increasing Social position. In most teen movies that
focus on sexual conquest, the protagonist and friends are typically out to have
sex because they feel like the only ones not doing it. Many times, the protagonist
is neutral in terms of popularity but has the potential for upward mobility.
Their best friend on the other hand typically disregards all social norms and
has no hope for improvement. Following the traditional story line, the protagonist
makes some type of decision in efforts to prove themselves that result causes a
conflict in their friendship. Tensions build, a falling out occurs and the
loyal friend although hurt, comes to their rescue. From time to time, we will
have a story with a slight deviation, and it shows the long-term effects of the
protagonist chasing fame over friendship. They go from being a pair of content
outliers to severed soulmates- all because one friend was tired of being a
social outcast. The protagonist risks all for the chance to be in the “in”
crowd and they ALWAYS turn out to be misleading and deceitful. One of my
favorite depiction of this theme, is in the movie 13 going on 30. It’s OK to be
an outcast! If teen cinema has taught us nothing else, it has taught us
blending in is overrated. Be weird and follow your dreams.
7) It will take too
long – Fear of investment
The “it will take too
long” mindset is one that has often plagued and limited me. It is an excuse
that reared its ugly head each time I consider going back to school for my
graduate degree. “Two years!” I thought to myself. “That is time I will NEVER
get back – that’s forever!” I decided not to take that leap and guess what, Welllookyyaknow
– 2 years of time has passed by anyway, much quicker than expected it. You
guess it, without that degree. The time is going to pass regardless of whether
you take that leap towards your dreams or not. This time I would rather fill
the years with steps towards the goal. It doesn’t matter how large. JUST. KEEP.
6) You’re too busy –
Fear of over investment
Time is not money. One
is very difficult to get then easy to multiply. The other is given for free
impossible to multiply. Spend your time with more caution than you use to spend
your money.  If you truly feel you have
too many extracurricular blocking your ability to work towards you dreams,
consider doing a time audit. How are you spending your free time? What things
are mandatory for you? Even 10 minutes towards a goal will make a difference.
Clean out that wasted time and recycle it into something more useful.
5) You don’t have a degree
– Fear of under-qualification
From adolescence
through adulthood, we have the importance of getting a degree shoved down our
throats. Not wanting to cause any waves in the pool, I went straight from high
school to college and graduated on time and with honors. As I walked across
that stage I felt all powerful, ready to conquer the world- and then reality
hit. No one wanted an employee that had all education and no experience. Of course,
this is highly dependent on the major you take up but in most cases getting
your feet wet will be valuable. I believe one aspect many of “us” millennials have
with trouble securing positions is because we are pooled with applicants that
have 30 years of experience in a field we just got a degree. Many job posting
have “Masters’ degree and 5 years of experience preferred. Willing to substitute
___ years of experience for a degree.” A degree is not the end all be all. Many
employers admit a degree represents commitment and persistence. Experience supersedes
institution style learning. Gon’ head, get that experience.
4) You’re not
experienced enough – Fear of inadequacy
See #5.. Look for
people who have already made a name in your areas of interest and emulate them.
Get up, start working on getting that experience.
3) You’re scared
Shitless – Fear of losing your shit lol
That’s what diapers are
for! Do not be afraid of incontinence. There will always be extraneous factors.
Do not let them hold you back. In the words of everyones favorite controversial
rapper. “Like old folks pissin’ ,I guess it all depends.” (Kanye lol)
2) No one believes in
you –
I come from a very
large supportive family. It is very rare for me to have an interest that there
is no one to back me on. Yet even in my experiences, there are times that you
will be the only person who thinks you are capable. The way I see it, there are
2 senses of who you are- Others perception of you and who you truly are. That
being said, there will be time that you feel you are capable of something and
your surrounding circle does not see it as something you will succeed in. It
will happen, and that is ok. It does not mean that they do not see you as
capable or competent, it simply means they do not see it as a good fit. For some
the lack of belief in your abilities is from a place of malice, for others it’s
an innocent imposition projected on your life based off their experience. Regardless of their reasons for doubt, you alone
are in control of your steps. I feel belief can develop through actions- Evidence
based action.  If you don’t believe, ACT.
Let your results be your evidence.
1) You think you will
fail- Fear of failure
I fail a lot. About
1% of my failure is lack of subject mastery and 99% is lack of attempt. As impulsive
as I am, I hardly take risk and let my hair up (I have an afro so… letting my
hair down isn’t possible lol.) This particular excuse is one of my largest
issues. Being that I have to improve this for myself, I don’t have much advice.
As my husband would say, “Go on, Risk it for the biscuit”
Now that you have
read my 12 Ridiculous EXCUSES not to follow your dreams, here’s a secret. This
list was for me. All 12 of these are excuses I have made at some point not to follow
my dreams and be a writer.
Happy growing!
And check out that
inspirational Maya Video here




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